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Disappearing off the radar.....

It might look like I have disappeared, not having been on line for about 6 days, but I am still here. I have been suffering from a nasty thrombophlebitis, right over a previous thrombosis (not deep vein, superficial vein) and as usual, part of my arm died off and a huge abscess with cellulitis and raging fever took place.
Usually, in the past, due to fear of losing a limb I was frightened into going into hospital to have it treated. However sometimes my inflammations mimic infection, and although just as severe do not respond to normal IV antibiotics and of course new ulcers form around IV sites...so I don't like hospitals. Each new inflammation causes permanent scarring and damage and leaves me with less function in the arms and hands.

I stayed at home. Took a mini course of antibiotics which did nothing, then just took antiinflammatories, paracetomol and aspirin...and it is under control.
No need to panic too much about knitting deadlines as I have it all in hand and it isn't that so much that is the cause of worries. I just thought staying on the sofa, going for short walks for circulation and resting my stressed out mind was the best option for the situation. I am feeling so much better now and not so confused and sweaty with the fever. I nearly always run a bit of a temperature, and when infected or inflamed this becomes a very high temperature.

The stress is not so much due to work but other situations cropping up in my life. And not having had one of these big flare ups with the veins/arms for quite a while I am totally shocked to realise that actually, stress alone can have such a big impact on my immune system and can be the actual cause of the flare up. I always thought it was bad timing in the past, when I was ill and then other bad things happened in my personal life at the same time, thinking it was co-incidence, but this time...there was no flare up as such, then stressful things started happening (mainly caused by people rather than just bad luck) and bingo, a flare up started. Not very scientific I know, but you do get the feeling that you know the causes after so many years.

I do get a bit wobbly immune wise in the changing of seasons and sunlight and all that, but never has it been so clear to me before that a healthy stress free mind can protect me from having such bad relapses of my Behcets Disease.

Now, I just have to try and get that message across to people that cause unnecessary upset, especially those people who try to ask me not to cause them stress when they are ill! It seems I am always pussyfooting around other people and their problems but rarely get the same respect back. However, if my health demands it, then I will have to find a way of communicating that without making it look like my illness is an excuse for avoiding stressful issues.

Life is just too short, and I am getting better and better at avoiding those who cause stress but some of those just don't avoid me, and I have no choice but come under their influence.

Not a very knit-related post, but just a note to self really so I can look back in a year's time to see what affected me. I am now taking on a lot of physical knitting, so will see how that affects things. Normally I feel better for having achieved a physical task, just don't try and persuade me knitting itself is stressful, it isn't, only some of the people doing it are.

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